召し上がれ。
Can you hear me?

Welcome

Eggplants?

gakupo
Feat. Gakupo from Vocaloid.










---- Best view in Google Chrome, 1280 x 800. ----

☆ I heard him.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 3:22 PM.

MOOD: can't explain in words
LISTENING TO: Rain - Gackt

i must had shocked everyone with my non-stopping crying this morning. if you had read my blog, you should be well awared of it. if you're interested, keep reading this post. if you think that i'm stupid after reading this post, think again.

cause i felt blessed.
he, being here, was already enough to suffocate me.


this morning was special.

you cant imagine how i felt when i saw hasurong's message about G's departure.
8:20 am. today is a tuesday. i have school.

i didnt think about going. not until when i cant control myself and messaged a friend "...他今天要走了" .
for the past 2 days, i havent touch any G stuff.
not even his songs.
but after that message, i realised that i cant just simply let things go like that.

in school, i tried calling Rong.
after countless of calls, i realised that i was constantly hanged.
"Oh shit." was the first thought that came into my mind.
the only reason why she didnt pick up....

i tried calling Viq. she picked up.
the first question was "Are you at the airport?", and she replied yes.
when i asked "Did you see him?" and she gave me the same answer,
my breath stopped.
she hanged up. i didnt blame her. if it was me, i doubt i can talk to anyone.

and crap, i just started crying.
after the long hours hunt, getting muscle cramps that hurt so much that i cant even walked properly, being paranoid about the whole matter for the past few days... this is all i get?
my legs went jelly, and i sat on the ground.

later, i found out that i may look like some kind of idiot, so i stood up again.
the tears stopped. but when i talked to him(friend) again,
the tears just came rushing out again...

i dont understand why i cried. but i just cried.
when i was thinking that "This is hell. Everything's ending. He's gone.",
i received a call from Rong.

she was definitely shocked to hear that i cried.
my nose was blocked and i cant talk properly....
she told me that yeah, they saw G. he shook hand with every of them, and signed his autograph with THEIR NAMES(To WHOWHOWHO).
he was okay with even photos, but the staff said no. (so... it was not his fault that our gifts are rejected, but you cant hate his staff too.)
just when G was about to leave, Rong asked if he could speak to me...
"Gackt-san, can you speak to her? she could not make it today..."
?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

later, she told me that he paused, and said "yes."
i guess she didnt expect that he'll agree tooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

but things was to sudden, i was still in crying mode and my NOSE IS BLOCKED, BADLY.
i heard a deep, low voice, "Hello?"
well, in crying mode, i mumbled, ".... Hello...?"
in a rush, he said "Love you"(i didnt really hear it. i only heard 2 words[extremely faint]. i could only confirmed that he said this after Rong told me that this was what everyone heard and they squeeeeee), and the phone was passed back to Rong.

...... HIS VOICE.
HIS VOICE.
you know the song "No Reason"? it sounded exactly like that.
Deep.

his voice kept echoing in my head.
just 2 sentences. just 3 words.
just a "Love you" to a fan. to one that was out of his millions, on a tuesday morning.
he would probably forget it as soon as he reached japan,
but,
"Love you."

i cried so much after that. so much that my eyes were red-shot. my classmates were shocked too, i've never cried like this in public(i think they thought that i dont have any tear glands). i had to gasp for air.
his voice was, low, deep, sexy.
it has some kind of.... magic? you get attracted to it so much just by hearing it once.
i had never met him, never see him in flesh, but i heard his voice on my sony ericsson phone...

manaasagi's words struck me(the post in lj).
she said to me that "out of so many words, he could only think of 2, LOVE YOU!" .
why didnt i think of this....?!! *tears of joy*

and when i read Belle's report... which she said
Gackt took the phone and I still melt at the image of his smile in my mind. "Hi." I had to bite my lip from squealing. "Hi," he said into the phone again. "Love you."
I DIDNT KNOW ALL THESE HAPPENED. THANKS FOR WRITING IT OUT BELLE.
thanks for the smile, even though i couldnt see; thanks for the words, all that i heard.


before listening to Jrock, i think fandom is stupid.
i really think that.
but now, others will see me as a.... crazy or mentally-retarded person. whatever.
in a concert, he may say "I Love You" to all his fans....
but just now, HE DIRECTED IT TO ME, ON THE PHONE.
WUHOOOOOOO.

i am so worried that i would forget that voice.
it echoed in my mind...

he promised that he'll be back. he promised.
and the reason, he did not mentioned.

even though i did not see him, i heard him, on the very last day, at the very last second.

the "body" cried, but i believe my "heart" did too.
next time, when i could hear his voice again,
i promise that it'd be the "heart" doing the job.

Matteruyo.

Labels: